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Viral Community
virus.jpgI once knew a family that had a very strict code of forgiveness.  They treated the "sins" of family members radically different than the "sins" of non-family members.  If a brother or sister were to offend another, the subsequent argument would be loud and violent, but afterward, all was resolved and set aside.  If a non-family member offended one of the family, then the whole family would take offence, followed by gossip, slander, the cold shoulder, and even damage to property.  They had a friend or feud mentality.  If you were not family, you were either a friend or an enemy; there was nothing in between.  Their attitudes and behaviours were terribly destructive to church community in the years I knew them. 

While that is an extreme example of unhealth in a church community, more subtle viruses creep in to challenge the health of a group of believers.  I found out that the word community can be traced back to the Latin term "gift of togetherness".  What a great definition! We all come to community with a bunch of expectations, spoken and unspoken.  Some come to faith community expecting people to be surface nice and that's enough.  Others want deep significant relationships at every turn.  Some just assume that community is a dangerous place emotionally and relationally, so they keep their distance.  I think one of the viruses that can really hurt community is the virus of expectations.

Think about it.  If we all show up to a community looking to make emotional and spiritual withdrawals on our own terms, it won't be long until that community is bankrupt.  The usual complaint about churches is that 10% of the people do 90% of the work.  In that model, the 10% group better have a lot of resources available, because the 90% want what they want.  

So, are you an investor in community?  I'm not talking about money, I'm talking about time and emotions and prayer.  The myth of quality time is almost dead in our society- and I say good.  How can we expect to show up on Sunday morning at our faith community and invest quality time for 75 minutes?  We need to eat with people, we need to hear their problems, we need to share our hurts and victories.  We need to pray with and for others.  We need to laugh together.  We need to show up in each other's lives.  The most significant time I have spent with people in community has not happened on Sunday morning- shock!  It happens over a coffee; it happens around a supper table; it happens pouring over the Scriptures together, searching for answers. 

If community is to be the "gift of togetherness", then we need to set aside our expectations of "what I get out of community" and replace them with an expectation of "what I will give to community". Every faith community needs your emotionally present time- not just to be an ekklesia doulos, but as an interested and caring investor.  The gift of community is the gift we bring, not the one we receive. 

Community without enough investors soon becomes sick.  The signs and symptoms?  Burnout in the 10% group. Apathy. Complaints that "needs are not being met". Christianity is about serving, not being served. It is about giving, not getting.  It is about the other, not self.  Are you part of the gift of togetherness, or have you caught the virus?

Maze
wall.jpgWall.

Wall.

Wall.

Wall!

How did I get here if every direction is a wall?  How can I be closed off...

... from family
... from friends (what friends?)
... from hope?
... from God?

I am not alone in this box.  Love is here. Community is here.  Hope is here. All trapped...

... by the restrictions we put on each other
... by the "no's" we put on each other
... by the frustrations of life we put on each other

God, I know I chose the route through this maze.  It's my fault, but I need you to...

... show up
... knock these walls down

If I am free, why do I am so bound? Why can't I just be bound...

... to you God?

(Based on Habakkuk's complaints in Habakkuk 1)
What Are You Giving Up For Lent?
ash wednesday.jpgI grew up in a predominately Roman Catholic context in Eastern Ontario. Each year at about this time, I can remember various friends and family members asking, "What are you giving up for Lent?"  I didn't think much of the question, being a non-observant Protestant at the time.  As I came to faith in Christ, in an evangelical sense, and then wandered off to ministry training and pastoring, the question seemed even less relevant.  Of late, however, the wisdom of the ancients has found a place in my meditations.

Ash Wednesday is the beginning of the 40 day (46 day if you count Sundays) period of repentance and humility leading up to Easter. This is meant to be a season of quiet introspection, a time of giving up luxury and addictions, for the sake of a closer walk with Christ.  Lent is a movable fast (dates change from year to year), and Ash Wednesday is the starting gate.  In Roman Catholic, Anglican, and other traditions, the service or mass on Ash Wednesday includes the spreading of ashes onto one's forehead, sometimes in the shape of a cross.  In ancient days in the middle east, throwing ashes on one's head was a sign of grieving and repentance. That tradition was picked up in the Roman period of the church.

So, what are you giving up for Lent?  A season of introspection and humbling one's self doesn't sound like a bad idea.  Those ancients just may have been on to something. Have you sins for which you are grieved? Why not make them right (even if you are reading this and its not Ash Wednesday)? Are you coming out of a winter of excess, a winter of too much self and too much indulgence?  This is a perfect time and a good reason to refocus, to set aside the addictions and selfishness and luxuries that hinder a closer relationship with God.  While not a mandated celebration, according to the Bible, still not a bad idea.  What are you giving up for Lent?

Not In My House
van_2010_logo.jpgAs a family, we went to the Hockey Hall of Fame yesterday.  As we were looking around the gift shop, I was witness to a uniquely Canadian exchange between a father and his child.  The girl, about ten, was wearing her teams jersey. Obviously, she was a hockey player.  The father was wearing a Toronto Maple Leafs jersey.  Obviously a troubled soul (sorry Leaf fans, had to say it!).  The father was leafing (ha ha) through the child size jerseys, looking for something in particular.  He called over his shoulder to his daughter, "How about a Kessel jersey?  You like Kessel, right?"  It sounded like he was trying to convince her more than ask her. She immediately shot back, with some panic in her voice, "No Dad!  I like Ovechkin. I want an Ovechkin jersey!"  Dad turned back to the rack.  Almost right away, he pulled out a Washington Capitals jersey with "Ovechkin" and the star's signature #8 on the back.  He turned to show his discovery to his daughter, "Look!  I found one!"  At the same time, the daughter exclaimed, "Me too!  How about this one!"  She held up a team Russia jersey with Ovechkin's name and number on the back.  The dad became quite serious, his only response, in a low voice, almost a growl,"Not in my house."  

I guess a father's love has limits.  Go Canada Go.
Waiting
  watchtower.jpgI will climb up to my watchtower
      and stand at my guardpost.
   There I will wait to see what the L
ord says
      and how he
 will answer my complaint. (Habakkuk 2:1 NLT)


Habakkuk was a musical priest in Israel about 600BC.  He was also a prophet, a "mouth-piece" of God.  He got to be a prophet through his complaint to God about the degenerating situation in his society.  The place was falling apart; murder, violence, corruption, injustice at every turn.  The fear of God, a tenet in Israel for centuries, was no longer recognized, and the civil authorities sold fairness to the highest bidder.  So, Habakkuk decided to take it up with the boss.

"Hey God!  Your people are in chaos down here!  Don't you care? Why aren't you doing something about it, God?!"  He shouted at the Lord.  God's answer?  Less than positive, at least from Habakkuk's perspective, "Hey Habakkuk!  You know your worst enemy?  That country over there with the most ruthless and terrifying and powerful army?  I'm going to let them invade Israel. You think you've got injustice and violence now!  What a bit, and then you'll see how the big boys do it!"  Great answer, eh?

So Habakkuk complained again.  His second complaint, in Chapter 1 of the book that bears his name, is pleading.  "God, you want to wipe us out?  Is this invasion punishment for our sin?  OK God, I get that, but why destroy us completely?  We have expectations of you and you don't seem to be living up to them!  As far as we're concerned, you 're breaking your promises to your people.  Where are you!  Show up!"

And then Habakkuk says the above (see beginning of the blog entry).  The grammar in the original gives the feeling of someone who just challenged another to a fight, at a time and place. See you behind the gym at 3pm!  Habakkuk has put God on warning.  He is going to vigilantly wait for God to answer his complaint. "I'm watching you God.  You can be sure that when you do something, I'll be right there to see what it is."

When was the last time you waited on God?  Not a passive, "Oh, God will do His thing in His time." But rather an active, focused, "OK God, show up!".  Habakkuk throughout this book is respectful to God.  This isn't a whiny child having a tantrum because he did not get his way.  This is a passionate spiritual leader trying to reconcile why everything he has been taught about God is not measuring up in the current circumstances.  His watchtower is a symbol of a man on guard for his people, and actively waiting for God's next move.

What is he difference between active and passive waiting on God? Passive waiting surrenders one's own will to the timing and wisdom of God.  Active waiting stands alert for God's actions, respectful and expectant.  Passive waiting on God turns everything over to Him and lets go of it.  Active waiting partners with God. Passive waiting is the crowd watching a relay race at the stadium. Active waiting is the runner waiting for the baton. 

In the Old Testament (where waiting on God is taken to spiritual heights) divides the two based on interest.  Passive waiting is appropriate when one is self-interested.  Active waiting is called for when the interest is the welfare of others. For example, If I am stressed about a personal problem, and have done everything I can do to solve it, asking God to help and then trusting Him to intervene, results in appropriate passive waiting.  This grows personal peace and faith.  However, if I see another in need, it's too easy to just "give it to God".  That is an abdication of love.  

Several months ago at the River, we had a client desperate for a refrigerator.  This client had no means to purchase one (neither did we) and was in trouble.  We put the word out everywhere looking for one.  We actively searched Craigslist and the like, and kept looking, waiting for God to show up.  We were beginning to wonder what was taking so long! Then one Sunday morning, first time visitors to the church came up to me after service and said they had a fridge to donate.  God showed up.  They had not even heard about the specific need of the fridge for our client, but just knew generally what kind of things we did for others. We had all the pieces in place; the pickup to carry the fridge and the men to lift.  All we needed was the fridge, and here it was.  We actively waited for God, on behalf of the just need of another, and were able to respond so quickly when God showed up!

Habakkuk looked around at his culture, his society and said, "Enough!"  (Note: This wasn't a fundamentalist rant against the lifestyle choices of his nation, nor its "media" consumption, but rather a pleading for peace and justice in world gone mad.) As a priest, he was actively involved in the betterment of society, but was overwhelmed.  He called out to God, on behalf of the other (others) and actively waited for God to show up.  And when he didn't like God's answer, he went into aggressive negotiations with the Creator to make things right.  Oh, that we would pursue justice with the passion and commitment of a Habakkuk!

Clean, or How to Clean Up Vomit in 4 Easy Steps.
pinesol.jpgI spent the last couple of days cleaning up after kids (and me) suffering with some kind of stomach flu.  Eeew!  I am proud to say that my house has never smelled cleaner, however!  If you were to enter my place right now, the pungent, clean smell of Pine-Sol™ would greet you. It might cause your eyes and nose to burn, but you wouldn't smell anything else, that's for sure!

When you meet someone you know is sick with something communicable, how do you respond?  Do you rush to embrace them like long lost family, or do you keep your distance?  Heck, when I left the house today, I shooed my wife away from a hug and kiss, "Don't touch me, you could be a carrier!"  Our response to disease is telling.  We hold our own health over short-term relationship almost every time.  The same was true in Jesus day concerning spiritual health.

The ancient Israelites of the first century believed that one became unclean through a whole host of activities; touching a dead body, coming into physical contact with someone with a skin blemish or disease, getting close to a menstruating woman.  There were elaborate rituals that needed to be followed to become clean again.  Several examples of this belief of transmission of uncleanliness appear during Jesus' earthly ministry recorded in the Gospels.

Luke 17:11-19 gives some small insight into this.  Ten lepers called out to Jesus as he entered a certain town.  Jesus heals them from a distance, and tells them to go see the priests to be declared clean, just as instructed in the law of Moses.  The lepers would not come close for fear of making Jesus unclean.  Luke 8 also shows us this same attitude in the Israelite culture.  Jesus is on his way to a synagogue ruler's house to heal the man's sick daughter. On the way, a woman who had been bleeding for twelve years reaches out and touches Jesus' cloak hem.  Her back-story reveals a desperate women, ready to risk a death penalty in the hope of healing.  In that culture, a woman who was bleeding for that long would not have been touched by anyone, not even her husband.  Can you imaging having no physical contact with anyone for twelve years?  We'd likely go mad.  This woman had been to doctors, sought the advice of priests and wise women, but nothing helped. In a last desperate act, she found the miracle worker Jesus, and lunged to touch him for healing.  Jesus noticed the touch, even in the midst of a large and pressing crowd.  The frightened, but healed woman stepped forward to explain why.  Jesus tells her that her faith has healed her.  A new paradigm has also just kicked in- cleanliness is what is transmitted, not uncleanliness.  Jesus reinforces this immediately with the raising from the dead Jairus' daughter.  The synagogue ruler's daughter died while Jesus was en route, but that did not dissuade the healer from saving the day.  Jesus, the child's parents, and a couple of disciples stay in the room with the dead body.  Jesus takes her hand- he touched a dead body!- and orders her alive.  She is raised to life!  Jesus has committed the ultimate unclean act, he has touched a dead body!  Yet it was the girl who was revived.  Jesus remained clean.

Les we think that this rule of passing on cleanliness applies to Jesus alone, we need only look to the early church to see that they assumed the same attitude.  The early church rescued orphans, took in sick people, ministered to lepers, the infirm, the marginalized, the hopeless.  They took the spiritual cleanliness given to them from a renewing relationship with God through Jesus Christ, and passed it on.  Look to Mother Teresa and Henri Nouwen for modern examples of "passing the clean".  Our source of spiritual cleanliness is the forgiveness of God found in the work of Jesus Christ, in his life, death and resurrection.  With a relationship with God the Father, we can pass on to others purity, hope, belief, faith, love, and peace.  What should be left behind?  Religious fear and superstition.  

I once performed a wedding ceremony for nice young couple. At their reception, the bride's grandparents made a big show, at least to me, of leaving when the dance started. They didn't want to be contaminated by the uncleanliness of the dance.  I didn't think much of it at the time, I just dismissed it as an example of their age and religious background (fundamentalism).  But, the more I consider the event, the more I think that their actions were either based on fear or selfishness.  Fear that someone would judge them for staying at their grand-daughter's wedding dance (sin!), or selfishness in that they used a "religious conviction" to justify leaving.  In hindsight, their act of leaving was a declaration that they did not believe that uncleanliness could be passed on. In the least, they denied the power of Christ in their lives to keep them clean in the midst of the dance.  Jesus would have stayed for the dance.  I guess they figured they were more holy than Jesus.  So, who (or what) are you avoiding for fear of contamination?
Hope
hope.jpgOne of the darkest periods of my life came in the middle of a huge transition on a number of fronts.  I was in the middle of a move from one job to another. The job move required a physical move of several hundred kilometers.  As the job transition began, several individuals from the old job site expressed anger at my move, while several others were just as quick to kick me in the pants (and the heart) on my way out.  At the same time, my mother was diagnosed with terminal cancer and died in three weeks.  The week of her death is a blur in my memory.  Friday: My mother enters hospital for the last time. Saturday: She dies. Sunday:We pack the moving van. Monday: We move to the new house, city, job location. Tuesday: Drive back to attend my mothers wake. Wednesday: I officiate my mother's funeral. Thursday: Drive back to the new home, begin the process of unpacking the boxes, getting ready to start the new job. Whew!

Several weeks later, a friend of mine pointed out that out of the top four or five most stressful things in life, I had experienced most of them in a week: death of a close family member, leaving a job, starting a new job, moving homes.  Eeek!  The only ones I missed were divorce and personal health problems. He asked me how I got through it.  As I look back, I realize that the stress was bearable because of hope.

All that week, I could almost feel God's presence surrounding me. I drew hope from His constant communication and reassurance to me. I felt Him in the hospital room.  I felt Him in the moving van.  I felt Him in the new house.  I felt Him in the funeral home.  I felt Him in the hours of travel.  I felt Him in the presence of friends and family.  Thank you God.

Hope is defined "to look forward with confidence".  Through that whole stressful week, I can say that because of God, I did look forward with confidence.  Even though I was losing so much, changing so much, God let me know, beyond reason or understanding, that He was waiting for me in the future just as much as He was present then. 

During that whole time period of stress and loss and transition, I can't say my reactions were always the best.  I lost my temper with my family a few times. I withdrew from people big time, afraid of more pain. I became distrustful of some people (in a few cases with good cause). I am still very sorry about all of that. Even though I made some bad choices, God kept the flow of hope going to my soul. I knew, just like I knew my own name, that the future was God-filled.  This knowledge, this special ministry of God in my life, didn't make all the bad things go away, but it did give me strength to get through the bad things.

Hope is a silver road beneath our feet that lights our way in the darkest moments, and gives strength and form to the journey. My hope is based on a relationship with God. God is perfect and wonderful; the Bible uses the term "holy". It means set apart.  I'm the thing that God is set apart from.  I am not perfect and wonderful, I am flawed and ugly and anything but wonderful.  The Bible uses the term "sinful". It means to have a life filled with missing the mark.  That's me.  If it wasn't for Jesus- God in the flesh- coming to earth to live and teach and die and live again, I would have no chance at a relationship with God; no chance at hope.  Through Jesus, I can know God.  Through Jesus, my sin is forgiven, set aside.  Through Jesus I can have a shot at hope.

In dark days of loss, grief, anger and even sin, I choose hope.  I choose Jesus.  I choose God.  I will look forward with confidence. Heck, I will go forward with confidence. Despite setbacks, despite loss, despite the unkindness of strangers or the anger of friends, I will not lose hope.  It's God in emotional form. It's a choice.  It's faith. It's hope.
Loss
loss.jpgIt has been a season of loss for me.  Personally and professionally, areas where I thought there was gain have been crushed by loss. Expected areas of 'more' have turned to 'less'. I have some serious questions for God right now, as these areas of loss have been outside of my control. Not to be too dramatic, but in some small way, I feel a little like Job.  After a series of devastating losses- family, money, health- he sat down in the dirt and waited for God. Friends came to 'comfort' Job, but ended up accusing him of sin. Even his wife told him to, "curse God and die". 

I'm not quite at Job's stage.  My season of loss cannot compare to his, but it has been emotionally and spiritually significant for me.  I love Job's response to his wife's challenge to curse God and die.  He says, "Shall we accept good from God, and not trouble?". Wow. His kids are dead, his wealth has evaporated, and his health is gone.  His wife wants him to turn his back on God, and accept the resulting (assumed) punishment of death. Job sticks to his faith though. Both good and bad flows from our relationship with God.  Do we only want the good?  I bet for most of us, if we were honest, the answer would be yes.

Job's friends assumed that because something bad happened in his life, then Job must have sinned in some way to deserve this punishment from God. He argues that he didn't do anything wrong. He was right. We learn that God allowed Satan to take his best shot at Job, so that God could prove a point about Job's faith. This does not mean that every time bad things happen to us, that the devil is at the heart of it, or that we are a stand-in for God in an epic spiritual battle between good and evil. Life is not that simplistic, and God is not that repetitive. I find that when something truly bad happens in life, there are those superstitious Christians who are quick to say (or think), that loss is a result of sin. This is nothing more than sick, twisted neo-paganist thought creeping into the church, and its just plain wrong. Don't believe me? Read John 9.  

Jesus and his disciples are walking down the road, and they see a man, blind from birth, begging by the side of the road. The disciples ask Jesus, "Master, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?"  Pagan doctrine, plain and simple. Jesus blows their minds with his answer, "Neither. This man was born blind that the power of God might be revealed in him."  Chew on that morsel for a while. Jesus says that the man's infirmity is not linked to some earthly reason, but rather has purpose so far beyond man's reasoning that it can not be fully comprehended. Jesus then proceeds to heal the man. He can see, but the social fall-out is immense. The Jewish leadership persecutes him, his parents bail on him and he is left alone in world. Only at the end of the chapter, when Jesus returns to him in relationship, do we see hope for him. Shall we accept good from God and not trouble as well?

It really irks me when I hear people talk about bad things happening in their lives as though they were God's victims. "How could God allow ________ to happen?" Those same people would be the first to complain if God set up his creation so that anytime we began to stray off the path, He showed up and stopped us. "How could God be so controlling?" We don't want an overly involved God in our lives if it means setting aside our freedom, but the minute tragedy strikes, we blame him for not showing up. I'm surprised he puts up with the bunch of us. He must be grace indeed! God made us volitional, and has set up his creation with certain consistent rules to ensure that our choices can be linked with reason.  If I choose to jump off a cliff, and gravity does its thing, it's hardly God's fault. 

We demand to know what He is doing, when the whim takes us, and then we dare to get pissed off when the answer doesn't come. Faith means being OK without an answer. At the end of Job, after our hero has asked some pretty serious questions of God, He shows up in a storm to have a talk with Job. Job asks why. God answers, "I am". The answer was enough for Job. Is it enough for us?  When it isn't, we look to old heresies and pagan religions to fill the gap. God says, "I am", but we say we know the secret why (Gnosticism). God says, "I am", but we lay out a better sacrifice to appease his anger (paganism).  God says, "I am", and we give the devil the credit (Satanism).  The most honest of us will hear God say, "I am", and will either accept that (faith) or walk away. Anything in between is intellectually dishonest, like believing that I can really live in Barbie's Dream House. It's perfect, it's pink, but it is oh so small. Our God is so much bigger than that.
Good King Wenceslas

snowprints.jpgI am sitting at my local Starbucks, looking out on winter’s first real blow.  Snow, rain, ice rain, sleet, slush, all yuck.  My one kilometer walk down here was slippery and wet.  I helped one guy get his car unstuck, and saw a lot more people and cars slipping and sliding along.  Today would be a good day to plunk down in front of a fireplace and read a book.  But for work!


My favourite Christmas Carol this year (I seem to find a new one every year) is Good King Wenceslas.  It is not precisely a “Christmas Carol”.  It takes place on December 26th, the feast of St Stephen, and does not mention Jesus, the nativity, shepherds, angels, are even God for that matter.  The words though are so powerful, and the song is filled with Biblical and Christian imagery!  It is like a rich dessert which must be eaten slowly, each bite savoured. 


The carol lifts the curtain on a cold clear twilight, just after a severe storm.  The medieval King, Wenceslas, is stretching his legs after being couped up inside for a day or two.

Good King Wenceslas looked out
On the feast of Stephen
When the snow lay round about
Deep and crisp and even
Brightly shone the moon that night
Though the frost was cruel
When a poor man came in sight
Gath'ring winter fuel

The king and his page spot a poor man collecting fallen branches to use for fire wood.  There is some debate as to whether this was a legal action or not.  In some kingdoms of Europe at the time, like England, a poor man would be allowed to collect fallen branches, but could lose his hand if he chopped down one of the king's trees.  Assuming the gathering winter fuel was legal, it would have been hard to do so after a bad storm, with the snow as deep as is described.

The king then asks his page, "Who is that guy?"  The page knows him, and tells the king that the poor man lives a good league hence-- at least 3 miles (5 kilometers) away.  the poor man is a long way from home on a cold winter's night, where the snow is deep.  Imagine carrying fire wood that far!

"Hither, page, and stand by me
If thou know'st it, telling
Yonder peasant, who is he?
Where and what his dwelling?"
"Sire, he lives a good league hence
Underneath the mountain
Right against the forest fence
By Saint Agnes' fountain."

The term underneath the mountain likely means the north side of the mountain or large hill, where little sunlight would penetrate in the winter. Right against the forest fence means he lived on the edge of dense trees. Saint Agnes was a bohemian princess of the middle-ages who took on the role of a nursing nun, helping the sick and poor. The fountain was likely a well named for her.  

So, what is the king going to do?  Track the poor man down because he is breaking the king's law?  Ignore the man and head back to the castle?  Nope.  The king feels compassion on the poor man and calls for supplies.

"Bring me flesh and bring me wine
Bring me pine logs hither
Thou and I will see him dine
When we bear him thither."
Page and monarch forth they went
Forth they went together
Through the rude wind's wild lament
And the bitter weather

He tells his page to get meat and wine, rare treats for the poor back then.  He also orders pine logs.  Not content with allowing the man a few scraps to try to keep warm, the king calls for wood that would be light enough to carry, but would burn longer that a few thin and wet branches.  The pine logs would smell great as well! Notice too, the imagery that the elements invoke.  Bring me flesh and wine- the elements of the Eucharist.  He intends to eat, to feast with this poor man, but also to share (koinonia) his faith with him.  They will take communion together, prince and peasant, lord and labourer.  The pine logs invoke the tree, or cross, of Christ. The pine perfume of the logs the fragrant offering of Christ to God at his passion. So despite the brutal cold and the deep snow, the king and page set out to feast with a poor stranger.

The focus turns now to the journey of the king and page over that league to the home of the poor man.  The wild wind blows, the cold bites through the furs. The night is too cold for the horses, so they walk.  The king endeavours to enter into the realm of the serf; incarnation at its most basic.  After many steps, and many more to go, the page is filled with dread.

"Sire, the night is darker now
And the wind blows stronger
Fails my heart, I know not how,
I can go no longer."
"Mark my footsteps, my good page
Tread thou in them boldly
Thou shalt find the winter's rage
Freeze thy blood less coldly."


The king begins to transform into a mythical, saintly figure.  He calls the page to follow exactly in his foot steps, to be shielded from the terrible wind by the kings own body leading the way. He is a walking theophany, the presence of God visited upon the human plane.  The king and page have entered into a twilight realm of journey and struggle, and God is present, giving cover to their honourable errand. 

So the journey continues.  No end is given in the carol.  Why?  Perhaps the last verse gives insight, as the author transitions from the story to the moral, in the Greek tradition. 

In his master's steps he trod
Where the snow lay dinted
Heat was in the very sod
Which the Saint had printed
Therefore, Christian men, be sure
Wealth or rank possessing
Ye who now will bless the poor
Shall yourselves find blessing 

The heat in the sod confirms the king as more than human, but a saint, a vessel for the special presence of God himself.  Then the reason for the story- the Christian faith lived out in ministry to the poor.   

This hymn was likely translated from a medieval Nordic source, a poem or song, known since the 13th century.  The tune is borrowed from a  Swedish song which dates from the same period. The translator/ author John Mason Neal lived in England during the industrial revolution.  His concern was that of his contemporary, Charles Dickens, for the poor and exploited in Great Britain, and especially in London.

So, a song that does not mention Jesus, God, the nativity, or any other Christmas image, nonetheless invokes the heart of Christmas.  The more I study, the more I research and learn, the more I realize that we have not invented missional living ministry, we are just rediscovering it after it being forgotten by many for almost a century.  The first nineteen hundred years of Christianity saw no way to separate the gospel from mercy ministries.  It was the twentieth century that did that. I guess part of our role is to splice them back together.  The early Christians of the first century, right through to the social justice crusaders of the industrial revolution have left large dents in the snow; we need only follow, my good fellow page!

Laughing At Funerals
laugh.jpgAn uncle of mine died over the week-end after a long illness.  My aunt's husband, they had been married 52 years and together for 55 years.  What a life togther- 3 children, 7 gand-children and more good memories than could be expressed during the wake and funeral days.  I was honoured to lead the funeral service.

My instructions were, "15 minutes- max."  He had told his wife, "I don't want any damn priest hovering over my casket for hours." My sister timed me- 15 minutes to the second.  But how do you sum up a life in 15 minutes, or for that matter in an hour or a day?  You can't. This man was loved by his family.  I kept hearing the same thing over and over again from everyone close to him- "strong", "a family man".  Then there was the laughter.  

Is it appropriate to laugh at a funeral?  At this one at least, I think so.  For having lost such a significant patriarch, the family had moments of laughter and joy, just reflecting on their relationship with him. 

I'm reminded of a fictional funeral from the Mary Tyler Moore Show (if you don't remember this show- get the DVD's! Gold!).  Mary's character worked at a TV station in Minnesota in the 1970's.  In one episode, everyone from the station attends the funeral of the star of the station's after-school children's program, a clown known as Chuckles.  He had been killed by a rogue elephant when dressed as a peanut.  (Come on, you laughed!).  All of Mary's co-workers cracked jokes leading up to the funeral, but Mary was appalled at their insensitivity.  When the funeral actually happened, everyone was serious, as was becoming the situation, except for Mary who inexplicably had an uncontrollable attack of the giggles.  Laughing at a funeral!

I can think of several situations where laughter at a funeral would be inappropriate, but in the case of a man who lived his life well, fought a brave battle against a terminal illness, and left behind a legacy of love, joyful laughter seems just about right.  We know the tears will come at times like that, but the laughter eases the sting just a little.

I hope my funeral has laughter. If someday, years from now, you attend my funeral, I hope you even giggle.
Humilty, Peace and Soul
regina.jpgI looked out across the green and gold prairies, flat and empty, and felt helpless.

The sky was so big, the blue of day like helium in my chest, the sparkle of night like white fire on my head.

I was alone, and without great power, humble and humbled.  Peace.


Now I look across caves of glass and steel, temples tall and empty, and feel trapped.

The ground is so heavy, the cement of man's hand pulling me down, the stale street lights dripping in my mind.

I feel lonely, powerless against the collective apathy, the prideful erode my insecure soul.


Where is hope?  Where is strength?  Where are the dozens, the dozens of dozens, who will sacrifice for the painter of blue, the fire behind the night?

Stand now, denizens of peace, and spend the capital of your lives on eternity. Invest in the aimless, those existing in the caves and temples, under the crusty beams of light.

Then, life with purpose.  Life beyond self:  humility, peace, and soul.
Questioning the Wisdom of the Elders
church sign.jpgI came across this video a few weeks ago.  It is of Mark Driscoll of Mars Hill (Seattle) talking about "The 4 Lanes of the Emergent Church".  There's not a lot I agree with this guy on in the video, from his definition of emergent, to the various groups and how they are categorized.  I don't want to waste space defending or arguing about labels- too much like arguing over genealogy.  Mark does make a comment though near the end of the video in regards to the Liberal Emergents.  He says that this group questions certain doctrines that should not be questioned, especially by pastors.  It's that line I want to interact with today.

In Jesus' day, the Jewish leaders had developed an oral law tradition in addition to the Law given by God at Sinai.  These extra prohibitions are sometimes referred to as the Wisdom of the Elders.  These extra laws have been codified since that time in the Talmud.  It Jesus' ministry, he questioned the beliefs of the Jewish leaders of his day, but never the Torah, the written law.  It seems as though Jesus dismisses the oral law as irrelevant.

Christian doctrine is a lot like the Talmud.  Doctrine is the codification of a body of teachings. Doctrine is an artificial construct laid upon the Scriptures for the sake of rational understanding.  At its core, doctrine is of man. The Reformation of 500 years ago unleashed a radical rethinking of what it meant to be a Christian.  Orthodoxy- right belief- was rewritten for the Protestant Church.  The protestant brain trust, scholars like Calvin, Luther, Wolsey, stripped down Roman Catholicism to the essentials, and rebuilt their doctrines and practices accordingly.   The Roman Catholic Church hated these guys, sending out papal bulls for the excommunication of some of them.  The message to those reformers was, "Don't question Holy Mother Church."  The Roman Catholic Church includes in its authority structure tradition.  That what had been believed and practiced for a number of years is as important as the Bible and Papal decree.  The Anglicans rely on the 'three-legged stool" of reason, scripture and tradition.  Historically, evangelicals, a group not 50 years old as Driscoll asserts, but almost 300 years old, have been all about sola scriptura- the Bible alone. 

So when Driscoll criticizes the "liberal" emergents for questioning doctrines they should not question, because those doctrines have been around a really long time, he sounds a lot more like an ancient pharisee or medieval Roman Catholic Cardinal than a Reformer.  He says that the vigorous examination of Reformation doctrines is not acceptable, and following any such practice means one is a liberal. Jut for questioning them!  I ask, what is wrong with questioning what we believe?  I admit, those Reformation scholars were all a lot smarter that I am.  However, I am more confident in my faith and what I believe because I examined, questioned,, argued, yelled at and wrestled with the elements of the faith.  If Christianity cannot stand up under the most intense scrutiny, questioning, atheistic attack or heretical twisting, then it's not a faith worth following.  I think the tradition of Jesus, of the Apostles and of the Reformers is to zealously deconstruct and reconstruct our doctrine and faith practices based on the Bible.  I don't think the tradition of Jesus, of the Apostles and of the Reformers would have us shut up and believe what we are told to believe, because really smart men came up with it a really long time ago.

The more I look at the Evangelical camp from the outside, the more monolithic and tradition-bound it seems.  At least the Roman Catholics and the Anglicans are honest about the role tradition plays in their doctrine.  Certain evangelicals purport to be one thing- sola scriptura- but in practice, are something else.  I think there is a word for that....

I bet, if I lined up my doctrine with Driscoll's, I would be as Calvinist or Reformed as he is.  But I got here by stripping down everything I was taught and rebuilding it from the ground up.  I asked those questions that even pastors should not ask, according to Driscoll.  The labels that I have had thrown at me are beginning to be meaningless- liberal, heretic, apostate, conservative, creationist, Bible-thumper, hypocrite.  Evangelicals like Driscoll are unable or unwilling to make room in their nice tidy box of "What is a Christian?" for anyone who does not act and believe like them.  They do not see the difference between orthodoxy and orthopraxy, nor do they care to entertain the idea (at least the ones I have debated with).  These same evangelicals cannot believe that we would hold to the same foundation of the elements of the Gospel, the authority of the Bible, and the mysterious humanity and divinity of Jesus Christ, and not behave just like them.  I don't argue that I or my congregation have the corner on truth the way Driscoll does. I do have a broad enough horizon to include him and others like him as Christian brothers.  It's too bad he is unable to extend the same courtesy. He can only label and dismiss.

So, add me to the list of heretics labeled such by dying regimes: Calvin, Luther, Zwingli, Knox, McLaren, Wright.  I'll wear that label as a badge of honour.
 

Peace.






Love Songs for God
sheet music.jpgThis past Sunday at the River, we explored the theme of God Moments: Meeting God in the Mundane (aspects of life). One of the worship/ meditation stations was about our love for God.  The task was to write a love song or poem to God, based on Deuteronomy 6:5-9.  The key meditation thought was, "What place do the commandments have in my love for God?"  After the AWE time, various people read their songs and poems.  It was a special worship time for everyone.  Ages ranged from Junior High to adult. Below is the passage, then some of the songs and poems from Sunday.
________

Deuteronomy 6:5-9
Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates.

____

God-inary

How does
    Ordinary
become
    Godinary?

Is it really possible
to find God in all?
To hear his voice
To answer his call?

Can I really live my life
Surrounded by His presence
Enjoying His Holy Spirit
In spite of my human sense?

In a leaf falling to the ground
in children's laughter all around
The simplest times
In dirt and grime
In the usual and everyday
He can be there to
Light the way

Open the eyes
Open the heart
Love Him so it pains to be
apart

Spend time with Him
talking and sharing
makes the ordinary, God-inary!
__________________

Sung to the tune of Row, Row, Row Your Boat

Love, love, love the Lord
Love the Lord today.
With your heart, soul and strength
He's with you all the way!
______________

Love comes and goes
God's love comes and stays.

______________

The Carpenters

Mender and Fixer of everything
You are mending me
As I take on your image more & more
You call me to be your apprentice
To help you fix & mend everything
The tools on your belt are love and grace
Admiring you, I take up your tools
To Mend and Restore everything I see
and everyone.
______________

Love from the heart
Is it just a feeling,
or is it true love?
My feelings can deceive me.

Love with your mind,
How... love doesn't make sense.
Can you figure out what it means?

Love with your soul...
Is it my soul or am I feeling it, or
just thinking about it?

Put them together- heart, soul, mind- all
of me!
Thinking about God, felling God, connecting at a
different level... looking, searching, enjoying.

How do I know if i love God- selflessness!
God 1st, Others 2nd, Me Third!
________________

Love Poem

Love can be shown in many different way.
Love is a wonderful thing.
God loves us for who we are.
Not who we are trying to be.
In everyday life, God is here for us.
If we're sad, if we're happy, he will
be here for us.

Love can be shown in many different ways.
Love is within your heart.
You show that you care.
god loves you.
God love you.
You can show love in as many ways as
You can.
God will catch us if we fall.
god loves you.
God loves you.

(The poem ends with a large valentine-type heart with the word LOVE printed inside.)
_____

Thank you everyone who shared their song or poem!
New Questions for a Post-Protestant Season
tree.jpgBruce Shelley, in his book Church History in Plain Language, says the battle between the Roman Catholic Church and the emerging Protestantism of the Reformation came down to how four questions were answered.

-How is a person saved?
-Where does religious authority lie?
-What is the church?
-What is the essence of Christian living?


As the Reformation matured, a doctrinal foundation was laid for the movement by the likes of Luther, Calvin, Henry VIII's Thomas Wolsey, and Conrad Grebel.  These four schools of the Reformation- the German or Lutheran school, the Swiss or Reformed school, the Anglican school and the Anabaptist school- developed new orthodoxies and orthopraxies.  Out of these constructions came the Reformation questions that still define Evangelicalism today.  Note that Evangelicalism came to the table rather late, having its origins in Great Britain in the 1730's.  So what are these questions? 

-Can one lose their salvation?
-What role should women play in the church?
-How should one worship God (this was almost always asked from a church service context, and not necessarily from a Romans 12:1ff perspective)?
-What is the nature of the church in regards to society (or culture)?

The way these questions were answered, and a myriad of increasingly technical secondary questions (for example, views of eschatology), led to the formation of denominations.  These denominations, like the random creeping of cracks in a broken window, splintered again and again.  Reasons to no longer fellowship with others moved from the broadly theological to the absurdly precise.  The question of security in salvation as a test of community gave way to othorpraxic considerations like order of service, song selection, and music style.  

As we enter into the next season of church history, the questions that once defined protestantism are giving way to a new set of inquiries that will help define the post-protestant era. I think two of these questions are:

-Missional or not missional?
-What is the nature of evangelism?


Missional or not Missional?

The River's understanding of Missional Living can be found here.  At the congregational level, a church must decide whether this will be a key faith expression.  Missional living is not programmatic.  It is not like evangelicalism's bait and switch.  Missional Living is the contemporary expression and emulation of Christ's miracles.  No, we don't raise people from the dead or turn water into wine.  The purpose of Jesus' miracles was to lend creedance to his message.  Missional Living does the same today.  I am always mystified by churches that add strings to their mercy ministries, or translate those ministries into middle-class, felt-need programs. I am further dumbfounded by those congregations that refuse to participate in mercy ministries for fear of appearing too liberal!

What is the Nature of Evangelism?

We are still defined to some extent by our response to Evangelicalism, much like the early Reformers were defined by their responses to Roman Catholicism.  Part of that is our heritage as a congregation, and part our place in history.  Many evangelicals assume that if a church does not communicate the Gospel a certain way, then that church is not orthodox.  We hold to the elements of the Gospel.  In my expereince, having pastored in fundamentalist, and old and new evangelical contexts, many evangelicals try to create an artificial faith crisis in a person to whom they are 'witnessing', and on a timeline of their (the evangelical's) choosing.  Oh, and usually with very little concern about the long term spiritual health of the individual.  It becomes all about "getting the sale" and padding the numbers. When did consumerism and the business approach become our evangelism model?

I think carrying out the mission of God, expressing that mission through mercy, and inviting others to join that mission regradless of where they are spiritually opens the door to relationship and discipleship.  Anything else leads to a patronizing attitude towards those not of the faith- an attitude all too prevalent in our evangelical churches today. Christian fundamentalism is shrinking, due in large part to its fortress church mentality and inexplicable anger towards the world.  Evangelicalism is growing a movement of spritual consumers where the focus always comes back to 'me'.  Neither really reflect my undertanding of Christ's invitation to mission and purpose.
___

These are only two of the questions that will define us going forward. Our evangelical heritage has positioned us to engage this culture with the same timeless and unique message of Jesus.  We stand on the shoulders of giants.  As one season drifts away, we undertake to be faithful in this season.  Evangelicals see the trees of their movement as green and full. In reality, the leaves have already turned to gold and rust and have fallen to the ground.  A few stubborn leaves still cling to the branches, but a new spring is awakening, with the buds of potential promising much life. It is just a shame that the coldness of this short winter season has caused relations to become so icy.

Peace

Why The Church I Pastor is the Best Church in the World
churchgrey.jpgI was looking at the kinds of communication I've had with the River congregation- face to face, phone conversations, Sunday morning interactions, emails.  Over the last month, almost every instance has been about the other- those in need, those we serve, those we help.  Here's a sample:

-Lots of communication about the Thanksgiving meal we served to River Clients on the Sunday of thanksgiving week-end.  This has included follow-up talks about the needs of some of those who attended that meal.  Wow!

-We are currently looking for an apartment size stove for a River Client, and a good washing machine for another person (if you have any leads as of this date, let me know!).  People just don't read these emails at the River- they look, and ask questions, and pray.

-A few weeks ago, the congregation gave my family a book of appreciation and several gift cards.  We feel so loved! Thank you River!

-One family in our congregation had a recent serious health set back.  The River, and one particular outside Bible study group, have jumped in to help with dozens of meals, drives, prayer, house cleaning and.... well you get the idea.  This is community!

-Preparing two big events for Christmas out of the church store front downtown.  A new edition of the River ReUse store (good new and used clothing, housewares and recreational equipment- all for free, all donated) and our second Ladies Spa night, where the women of the River do mani-pedi's (its a word, look it up guys) and facials, etc for female Food Bank and River clients, just to pamper them and encourage them.

These are evidences that I just happen to be the pastor at the best church in the world.  It's not because I'm the pastor; it's because these people are the church, and they have a deep abiding love for the other, because of their faith in God through Jesus Christ.  Go ahead, argue with me :)

Peace.
Strings
stings.jpgEvery few months, a man wanders into our store front looking for food and clothing, and some money if we have it.  I'll call him "Gerry", not his real name.  Gerry doesn't live anywhere in particular.  He seems to be constantly moving from place to place.  Gerry dropped in yesterday to load up on supplies.  He told me about his most recent adventures in Ottawa, and that he was headed to Sarnia now for the winter.  Gerry and I have had a few lunches together, he's grabbed a few things out of our ReUse store, and he does his laundry here most times when he drops in.  I find him to be a thoughtful and interesting person.

On his most recent visit, the conversation turned to God, Jesus, the Bible and heaven.  What he said tugged at my heart.  When I asked him if he had a relationship with God, Gerry answered, "Nah, I don't think the Big Guy would want much to do with an old drunk like me."  Gerry wasn't calling God's character into question. He felt that he wasn't worthy of God's love. 

I tried to tell Gerry that God knows what his life is like.  Jesus spent the last three-and-a-half years of his life wandering from town to town, helping people and teaching them about God.  Jesus knew the cold of winter nights, and the heat of the summer.  He knew what it was to be dusty and thirsty, and knew what it was to be hungry and lonely. 

Gerry told me that in just about every place he visits, there is at least one church that helps people in need.  What got my attention was the next thing he said.  He told me that every church he visits as he travels back and forth across Ontario tells him that God loves him.  In my church lingo, Gerry has heard the Gospel more times that he can remember.  He has heard it so much that it is just background noise to him now.  While all those churches are helping him with food and clothing and showers and laundry facilities and money, for which Gerry is sincerely grateful, all but two or three churches tell him his lifestyle is wrong.  The message he has heard over and over again across the province is that to be really accepted by God, to receive His grace and forgiveness, then he would need to stop drinking, settle down, get cleaned up and find a job.  Oh, and attend their church. Whether or not that was the intent of all these churches (I doubt it), the Gospel that Gerry has heard was, " If you look and act more like us, then God can save you." 

In my years in and around churches, I have seen the conditional Gospel preached more and more.  We say God saves, no strings attached- we preach it and proclaim it, then add strings with our actions and attitudes.  If you are saved- then you will stop drinking.  If you are saved- then you will dress like we do.  If you are saved- then you will believe what we believe.  And if you do not measure up to our expectations, then obviously you are not saved at all. Our doctrine is correct, but our doctrine doesn't really inform our behaviour or attitudes. 

Strings.  "If you want soup tonight, you'll have to sit through the sermon."  "If you want real friendship and community, you''ll have to dress and act like we do." "Sure God loves you just as you are, but if you really want God to accept you, stop drinking (or smoking, or doing drugs, or having sex with the wrong people)." We are arrogant enough that we think giving someone a loaf of bread entitles us to judge their spiritual condition, their lifestyle and their very worth before God.  That's not the Gospel.  That's the old bait and switch.  We advertise grace, and later on add strings.  We preach the Gospel, then perpetrate 'discipleship' on people (I am a strong proponent of discipleship.  I just think there is a long way between asking and telling). What we do with those in need, we would never dream of doing to our neighbours or coworkers.  "Sure Fred, you can borrow a cup of sugar.  God loves you and accepts you just the way you are.  But you really should lose 30 pounds."  "Sure Ethel, you can use my rake.  God loves you and accepts you just the way you are.  But you really should mow your lawn more often."  Sounds ridiculous when placed in our own social context, but that is exactly what we do when we think we can be the Holy Spirit in peoples' lives. Anytime people try to take God's place, bad things happen!

The Gospel is all about the dead being resurrected.  We are dead in our sin Ephesians 2 tells us.  It is God that makes us alive, through and with Christ.  Even the resurrected Jesus displayed the wounds of his death.  Those wounds are the very elements of the Gospel lived out. Those wounds are life and community, not just to the Jews and Gentiles and Samaritans of Jesus' day, but to the various ethnic and social groups of our day.  For the Gospel to truly be the Gospel, our faith communities need to have exactly the same number of strings as the Gospel- zero.  This means that we need to rethink the Gospel, not its elements or message, but the expectations we have attached to it.  We have turned the Gospel into an event, when we need to consider it more of a process.  A process that we dare not dictate.
 

Peace





Fear
beach.jpgHow much of the human condition is defined by emotion?  I remember watching the original Star Trek series, and some of my favourite episodes were the ones dealing with Mr Spock's suppression of emotions.  The Vulcan ethos was the total purging of emotions, because of the frightful consequences when one was mastered by one's emotions.  The challenge came when Spock's human side expressed itself; sometimes the consequences were frightful!  The emotion I'd like to purge most is fear.

I've given this some thought.  Anger has a close cousin in passion, so I would not want to get rid of anger.  All the positive emotions would stay- joy, love, thankfulness, and so on.  But fear has got to go.  Fear has too much to do with loss and possession and self.  Fear draws its power from our insecurities, our comfort-finding measures, and our dreams turned sour.  

There are Christians our there that would have us believe that God does not want us to experience any negative emotions at all.  They say that if we really are connected to God, if we really have His Holy Spirit, if we really believe and behave, then God will grant us a half-vulcanlike status of peace.  Ya, and if I sacrifice my first born to the gods, the next harvest may be better.  This neo-paganism has no place in the lives of followers of Jesus.  Our emotions connect us with God, especially the negative ones!  Read the book of Psalms if you need proof!

God can handle anger, bitterness, rage, even loss of hope.  It seems that it's fear that he goes after.  At this point I need to define fear.  There is the good fear- the kind that really is an awe of God.  The bad fear is the one that is expressed in worry and stress and heavy emotional burdens.  The former helps us recognise God for who He is; the latter robs life of joy and disconnects us from God and ourselves.

When Job was spitting mad at God for his lot in life, God showed up and pointed out to him who HE was, and who he (Job) was.  Connection.  When David was humbled by his sin with Bathsheba and the loss of a child, his pain and shame led him to confess his sins to God.  Connection.  When Elijah fled Jezebel, fearful for his very life, he ran to the point of exhaustion.  He wanted to die under that broom tree.  It wasn't until the emotion of fear was spent and death was very close that connection with God was re-established, and that took 3 miracles, storms and days of desert wandering.

Fear disconnects us from God. Unlike most other emotion, fear erodes relationship.  Fear isolates.  Fear casts aside.  Fear invites the devil's death into our lives. To overcome this debilitation without setting aside our essential humanness, God provides an answer.  The discipline of what I call the "God run".  

"God running" is the spiritual realisation of paradox in our lives.  Just when we feel furthest from God, most lonely and unloved by Him, he calls us to run to Him.  The prodigal son did.  Peter ran to Jesus at the last breakfast (John 21).  In the middle of his ministry, Jesus said "Come to me...".  The word 'come' is a picture of someone standing far away yelling, "Hey!  Over here!  Quick!  This way!  I'm over here!" The appropriate response is to run. Fear is the wild animal chasing you in the wilderness (or garden) of your soul, and Jesus is that stronghold that gives protection in God.  Run!

How do you run to God?  First off, we need to recognize that we are going the wrong direction!  Do a 180!  If that means confession- confess baby!  If that means saying to yourself, "Hey!  I'm going the wrong way!"  Then say that.  Next, to run to God, to connect with Him, talk to Him.  I know, rocket science, eh?  Just talk to him.  Need a script?  How about the whole freaking book of psalms?  Talk to Him.  Just in case you didn't catch that, talk to Him!  And keep talking to Him.

There is no magical combination of words, secret incantation, or religious act.  None of that neo-paganism that is seeping into the edges of evangelical Christianity these days.  Just have a conversation with God.  He loves that stuff!  Loves it! Do not underestimate the power of acknowledging a bad situation by talking about it.  This is not some psychological exercise (primal scream therapy anyone?)!  This helps because the one we are talking to has the power to do something about it!.  And not on some whim, or if we make the right sacrifice, but because He is who He is.  We cannot keep a covenant with Him because we are flawed.  What does He do?  He keeps His side and our side of the covenant.  That's character you can depend upon.

So, next time that creeping stalker fear inches its way into your life, run. Just make sure you run in the right direction.

Peace
Shoddy Leader
broken.jpgThat's how I feel sometimes- that I am a shoddy leader. I use shoddy according to this definition, "not structurally complete".  I've noticed that many people choose a church to attend based on who the preaching pastor is.  That's hard for me. I am community oriented in my approach to church. The idea of people attending or leaving a congregation based on the personality or gifts of the pastor leaves a sick feeling in my stomach.  I know in that situation I'll never measure up. 

I'm not a great visionary. I will never have thousands jump to their feet because of my preaching.  I'm not as detail focused as I should be.  I am riddled with weaknesses and insecurities. I don't have that je ne sais quoi of leadership that convinces people to follow me (or buy a used car from me).  But for some reason, God has called me to leadership in His church.

I became a Christian in my late teens.  The church I was part of gave me a good grounding in the Bible right away.  Within a few months, I felt a call to ministry.  That is a terrible way of saying it, but I know no better.  I felt the call.  I could see no future for me beyond the church.  I asked some peers in that congregation what they thought of me becoming a pastor.  I was universally shot down.  Only the pastor of the church conceded the possibility.  Soon I was at Bible College.

I soaked up the teaching like dry ground soaks up the rain.  In my third year, I got that "call" feeling again, this time to run for student body president. When I mentioned it to the people closest to me, they universally encouraged me to run.  I was advised against it by a certain faculty member, since there was a more desirable candidate running, with a better pedigree.  "Do you want to be that candidate that is embarrassingly unqualified? The one that everyone tolerates during the speeches, and then laughs at when they lose?"  I ran and won. I still remember how disappointed the staff person who told us the results was. She told the two of us simply, "Andre won."  Then she walked away with other candidate to console him. Looking back on it now, I wish the other guy had won.  It was a hard year.  I learned a lot about leadership, but I still wonder if it was worth it.

I left school, got married, and ended up working as a youth pastor in my home church.  I seemed to really find a niche.  The youth group grew, and good things were happening.  However, it seemed as though Jesus' words from Mark 6 plagued me there, "A prophet is not without honour, except in his hometown." It felt (that word again) like every leadership decision I made was second guessed.  I remember one night I canceled a youth event because the weather forecast was for ice rain (freezing rain for those of you not from Eastern Ontario).  I had parents go up one side of me and down the other for that decision.  I actually got yelled at for it by one mom.  While I was at that church, the senior pastor moved on to a new ministry.  The board told me that when they hired the new pastor, I would have to give him my resignation on his first day, and he would decide if I still had a job.  I still remember sitting in my office at the church, feeling like I had been kicked in the gut. Just then, I got a call from someone I knew from Bible College.  He talked to me about a youth concert he was putting on, then asked me a funny question, "Are you happy where you are?"  He told me his church had just planted a daughter work, and they were looking for a pastor with my gift set to come lead.  I got that "call" feeling again.

Within months I was the pastor at that church.  I stayed there for 10 years.  There were some tremendous victories there, and some mind-boggling, soul kicking hard times as well.  What kept me going through the ups and downs was that sense of calling.  I was doing what God had designed me to do. About seven years in, I was offered a job at another church.  It looked so good!  A large church, growing and healthy.  The chance to work for a great senior pastor.  Everything I could want as a career move.  The problem was, no calling from God to go there.  My head said, "Take the job, this will make your career!"  My soul said, "This is not God's plan for you." So I stayed put for three more years. 

About a year before I left that church, I sensed my ministry was coming to a close.  We were growing, planting a second congregation, in the midst of a building program, and I knew it was time for me to leave.  I wish I could say it was that sense of divine appointment that was leading me to the next step.  It wasn't.  It was the simple fact that the bad days had far out-numbered the good ones. The denominational pastor placement "dating" computer spat out a few possibilities for me, but the River was the ministry I felt called to. 

I have been happily installed here for over three years. There have been challenges here, but God has been present. I'm sure it was not a mistake to come here. I sure hope the people at the River agree with that sentiment!

Why the long testimony today?  To tell you what I have learned about calling.

1.  Calling is not always confirmed by peers.  In my first church, none of my peers agreed I was called to ministry.  At Bible College, many peers agreed about my calling to the presidency.

2. Calling is not always confirmed by mentors or elders.  My pastor saw the possibility of me going into ministry, the staff and faculty at Bible College didn't see it in me for student council.

3.  Calling, at least in my life, has always been to something, not away from something.  God's calling is closely linked to purpose.

4.  I do not lead or minister or pastor, or whatever you want to call it, according to my gifts or skills or my own righteousness.  I lead, using the gifts God has given me as tools to get the job done.  I minister, despite my long list of weaknesses, and because of Jesus.  I pastor according to his righteousness and credibility, because in myself, I have none.

5.  God doesn't need me.  He chooses me. That goes for leaders and everyone in a church.

6.  God's calling is not negated by my failures. 


Peace.
God Moments
god moments.jpgOn Sunday at the River, we talked about God Moments.  Those are moments in life when we sense an extra connection with God, feeling His presence quite near us.  We saw that a God Moment will draw us closer to Him, draw others closer to Him through us, will leave is more whole, and will help us to know what we are to do in the moment or beyond.

We also discussed that, like any experience, we must evaluate them according to our life authority, in our case, the Bible.

We asked the two questions below, and we discussed them in small groups.  Here are the questions and our answers.


#1 How Can We Recognize God Moments When They Happen?

-Be aware that God works in our lives
-Study the Bible so that it is in our soul.  We will recall examples of God Moments from the Bible if we have read and studied them.
-We will see it in the after affects.  Follow our gut, then reflect on what happened.
-Be intentional about investing in a significant and growing relationship with God.  This will help us to know His voice better when we hear it!
-Slowdown!  Practice meditation activities like journaling.
-Once we experience our first one, subsequent ones are easier to recognize. 


#2 How Can We Inhabit These God Moments?


-Be courageous in engaging the moment when we realise what is happening.  Follow through!
-Maintain an ongoing conversation with God.


If you have an answer to contribute, click on the comments link below.

Peace
I feel more spirtual at Starbucks
st giles.jpg Why is that?  I'm sitting at my local Starbucks right now, tapping away on my laptop, taking the occasional sip of my venti hot chocolate.  Does atmosphere really play that big of a role in sensing God's presence for me? Maybe so.

Several years ago, my wife and I took a trip to the UK.  We spent several days in Edinburgh on that trip, staying with friends.  We did the usual tourist stuff, up and down the Royal Mile in the heart of the old city.  I fell in love with St Giles cathedral.  Built between 1400 and 1492 (when Columbus sailed for America! Not that that is germane, but it gives an historical reference point).  The cathedral was used as a place of worship, an indoor market, and abandoned at various times over the last 500 years.  It was also a place of revolution and a place of conformity at intervals.  The church I visited had high vaulted ceilings, in the Gothic style, with both gargoyles and saints looking down from on high.  The sanctuary itself was massive and open.  Along each side were little chapels; some big enough for dozens, others for just one of two.  The picture attached to this blog entry is from Chamber's Chapel there at St Giles.  

I took most of one day to explore and meditate in St Giles.  Reflecting on the architecture, the history- Knox preached there!- I felt connected with God.  I know a lot of that has to do with my personality.  Big spaces draw me in and closer to God.  For others, time in nature, or in music, or with large crowds help them sense God's presence.  But for me, being alone in an old, large building is like spiritual meat and potatoes.  So why does Starbucks do the same thing for me?

The Starbucks I'm in now is new, small, well lit.  There are several people in ones and two sitting around tables sipping coffee.  This is nothing like St Giles.  The only common threads I can identify are the following: God is in both places, I was/ am in both places, and I was/ am really relaxed in both. I guess my mood affects my sense of God's presence.  "Wow!  What an insight!  Andre has just discovered what every follower of Jesus already knew- mood impacts awareness of God." But what is the next step? To somehow project my sense of God into whatever environment I am, so that the car, the street, and even the mall become St Giles and Starbucks to me.

I remember having a coffee with a young woman who went away for a year to Spain.  Someone had given her a Bible just before she left.  The adjustment to the culture was difficult for her, so she would take the Bible and go down to the beach to sit and read and think and journal.  She met God that year.  In the old evangelical sense, she "got saved" that year. When she came back to Canada, I was taken with her serenity.  I sensed God just being in the same room with her.  Somehow, she was able to take the beach, and project that atmosphere into every situation she found herself.  I asked how she did it.  She said, "I know in a deep and satisfying way that God loves me. That's all I need to know."  All this, without setting foot in a church.  I envy her.

Where do you connect with God?  What atmosphere chases away the distractions, and allows Gods presence to fill your soul and your environment?  How do you take God's presence into every situation?  What hinders you?  Jump into the discussion by clicking the comment link below.

Peace.

 

 

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