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What I have learned from being sick.
pills.jpgI've been sick this past week-  a bad cold hanging on.  This cold has all the typical symptoms; runny nose, cough, fever, headache. The worst part is that I lost my voice for a couple of days!  But as I have been slumped on my couch, I've been thinking about what I can learn from being sick.  Here are a few life lessons that I came up with...

Rest

Rest is good when you're sick.  Often, your body demands it!  I went through a bout of illness about 8 years ago, when I was working way too much (80+ hours a week).  I was sick, but I did not rest.  The cold got worse, and ended up lasting about 6 weeks, with a run of pneumonia at the end.  Had I rested at the beginning of the cold, it probably would have lasted a week.  Instead, I pushed through, without rest, and paid the consequences later.  Resting when you are sick is not laziness, it's just smart!

Treating the Symptoms

All the over-the-counter medicine I have been using this week just treat the symptoms of the cold- not the cold itself.  How often have I done the same thing in life? How often have I found ways to cope with the symptoms of unhealth in my life, instead of dealing with the causes.  Now, I know there is no cure for the "common" cold, but when it comes to emotional and spiritual unhealth, steps can be taken to deal with root causes.  Prayer, counseling, discipleship all can help, if the patient is willing.  Dealing only with the symptoms leads to more symptoms, and more involved coping mechanisms that will never address the real "cold".

Always be prepared.

The scouts motto sure does apply to being sick!  The best scenario when getting a cold, is to have all the supplies you need stored up beforehand.  Running out to the drug store to get cough medicine, tissues, vitamin c pills, etc, is no fun when you are already sick!  The same thing is true when we face tough times in life.  The better prepared we are, especially spiritually, before the crisis comes, the better we will cope.  I have been called upon to lend counsel and support quite often when people I know have come into crisis.  The people who came through the crises the best were those who were well studied in the Bible, had a strong and growing relationship with God, and were well supported in a faith community.  Often, telling someone with a weak faith to trust God when their world is falling apart seems outrageous.  Always be prepared.


Prevention is Paramount

The best way to deal with a cold is to avoid getting it in the first place!  While we cannot always avoid getting sick (just ask a parent with a sick child!), there are things we can do to reduce the risk. Each one correlates with a spiritual principle.

    Wash our hands------> Ask for forgiveness on a regular basis!
    Don't kiss someone with a runny nose------> Be wise in our relationships!
    Cover your mouth when you cough!------> If you're already sick, keep your mouth shut!


I know that I will be feeling better in a few days.  These things run their course.  How do I know?  Experience.  I have been sick before, and have always recovered before.  When it comes to my spiritual life, I can see the same patterns.  Cycles of health and unhealth, circling around my soul week after week, year after year.  It is up to me to take the best action to deal with those "colds" of the soul, even to prevent them from happening in the first place.
Swimming Up Hill
swim lane.jpgI come from a family of swimmers.  Each of my two older sisters and I were competitive swimmers in our youth.  That meant twice a day workouts, morning and evening, lots of travel for week-end swim meets, and lots and lots of lengths (or laps, if you prefer)!  Apart from the physical benefit of all that swimming, I learned a great deal about myself and about life.  Here are a few life lessons from swimming.

Motivation Matters

Morning practice at 5:30am is not as attractive as it seems.  Its less so.  Getting out of bed that early for 5 years took more than just a parent telling me to go.  I really loved to swim!  I loved the endurance swims.  I loved the drills, and the smell of chlorine (swimmer's cologne), and that feeling of accomplishment.  I loved being able to go to school and say that I had already done 2 or 3K in the pool that morning.

It would have been too hard to do those practices everyday for all those years had the right motivation not been there.  I think its the same with work, relationships, volunteering.  Without the motivation of loving something, it is hard to remain consistent and faithful.

Speed Matters  (But not how you think it does)

Not every workout is just a bunch of sprints or long distance swims.  The speed a swimmer goes in a practice will have a huge impact on their race results.  Good training means varying speeds in the workout to get the most out of the body and the practice.  One term for this is "fartlek" training.

Life is not a sprint, and we sure cannot go at the same pace all the time.  That's how stress injuries occur.  Just ask an athlete about "swimmer's shoulder" or "tennis elbow".   The answer is to vary speed during workouts.  It sounds counter-intuitive, but fartlek training has been shown to increase the over all speed of athletes. We need to work some speed variation into the workout of life so we don't get stress injuries!  Eat lunch slowly.  Take time for a walk.  Play with the kids.  These moments of less than 100% exertion will help in the work and stress areas of life.

The Rest Day Is as Important as the Training Day

Every good coach I know inserts a rest day at least once a week into the training program of his or her athletes.  This is because the body (and mind and soul) needs rest!  the benefits from rest are clear; muscle repair, bone stress is greatly reduced, and body chemistry has time to find a balance level.  The same is true is life.

God knows that we need rest.  It's so important that he made it one of the ten commandments.  Take a break!

Stroke Mechanics Matter

Learning the most efficient way to swim each stroke is vital for a competitive swimmer.  Having bad stroke mechanics slows you down, can cause injury because it puts stress on parts of the body not built to handle that stress, and makes swimming frustrating.  Most coaches spend a lot of time doing stroke correction with their younger swimmers to avoid all of these potential problems. 

God has laid out for us a most excellent guide in how to have the right "life mechanics"- the Bible.  He who created us knows how we are wired, and what we need to live well.  Just a brief glance at Jesus' teaching in Matthew 5-7 lays out the basics of these life mechanics.  Love our neighbours.  Forgive.  Give to everyone who asks.    How are your life mechanics doing right now?  Feeling sluggish, tired, frustrated?  Maybe its time for a refresher course in life mechanics with coach Jesus.

Details Matter

I was always surprised how much time our coaches spent with us working on our starts, turns and finishes. In total, these three elements of a swim are less than 5% of any race, but many coaches believe that it is in that 5% where races are won or lost.  Getting the right start, turns, and finish are details that make the differences between success and failure.

The way we start a new project, a new phase of life, a new job will usually indicate the type of success we will have in that endeavor.  How we finish in a particular job, or project will go along way to sealing or destroying all the effort we put in while there.  And the turns is life, those moments where we have to do course correction or turn around, are key.  If we don't turn well, we are unlikely to last long and more likely to experience broken relationship.  If you don't think these details matter- ask the French and USA Men's relay squads from the Beijing Olympics.  Look how much turns and finish matter (pardon the quality of the video- only one I could find)! Or ask Micheal Phelps from the same Olympics.

Final Thought
This whole post is about balance in life.  A healthy attention to details, mechanics, rest, varying speed, and motivation are all evidences of a balanced life.  Get in the swim!
Matthew Parties
matthew party pic 1.001.jpgThere are some changes happening with our regular Christmas-time outreach event.  In years past, we as a church have given away hot chocolate to each passerby at the annual Festival of Lights.  this year the Festival of Lights has been moved to Saturday evening, from its usual Friday night time slot.  Events seem pared down this year, so the River's Leadership Team (LT) began praying and thinking through what we could do to have more significant contact with people in our community.

Last year, our two main results from our community survey were:
1. the needs of people right in the Markham downtown core who are challenged making ends meet
2. the isolation many of neighbours and friends were feeling.

Number 1 led us to greater involvement in the Markham Food Bank.  That opened the door to a whole host of other serving opportunities like the River Laundry, the ReUse Store, and the River Garden.  Number 2 has led us to begin River Meals through last summer and this Fall, and to begin the process of reworking our small group ministry into dynamically relational duos and triads.  Our next step in this plan is the introduction of "Matthew Parties" for Christmas 2008.

In the gospels, Matthew (aka Levi) was a hated tax-collector.  A Jew working for the Roman occupiers who had few friends and was considered a traitor to his own people.  Tax-collectors in that era were also known to steal from people, and were less than reputable in general.  Jesus called one, Matthew, to follow him as a disciple.  Matthew did it immediately.  Then, he hosted a party for all his "friends", who the Bible refers to as "other tax-collectors and sinners", to introduce them all to Jesus.  That is the basis for our Matthew Parties.

Instead of a collective outreach event, this year we are asking each family at the River to host a Matthew Party during the Christmas season.  We are suggesting a kick-off of sorts attached to the Markham Christmas Parade on Saturday, November 29th, but your party can happen at a convenient time for you through the holidays.

These parties are meant to be low stress- a few friends or neighbours (who, I am sure are nothing like Matthew's friends) over for as little as an hour or two, with some treats on the side to lubricate conversation.  That's it.  No preaching.  No tracts.  No forcing your guests to watch a cheesy video or anything.  Just building relationship with people on purpose.  Just letting people see Jesus in you through warmth of hospitality.

We'll be talking about this more at church each week through the end of Christmas.  We look forward to hearing your stories from your Matthew Parties.  Our prayer is that this Christmas would be one of relational significance for you and your neighbours and friends.matthew party pic 1.001.jpg
Opportunities and Circumstances
serving hands.jpgThat was the first time in my life that I have experienced a church service interrupted by a real fire.  If you were at the River on Sunday, you know what I am talking about!  For those of you who were not there, let me bring you up to speed.

About halfway through the service, as Todd and his team were leading us in worship, the fire alarm went off.  We evacuated to the front of the building, only to see a series of fire trucks, police cruisers and ambulances converge on the seniors apartment building immediately attached to the centre where we hold our Sunday morning gatherings.  Within a few minutes, it became clear that this was a real fire, not a drill or prank.  We decided to end the service and send people home, apart from a few volunteers willing to wait a while to take down our equipment.  But God had another plan in mind!

Within a few minutes, EMS officials began to evacuate the seniors to the centre.  We got the green light to enter the building along with them.  That's when the idea surfaced to serve the seniors the coffee and food we had planned to have as snack after our gathering.  By way of coincidence, my wife was on snack duty that Sunday, and had planned extra food, along with a nice cake, to express our thanks as a family for the wonderful gifts we had received during pastor appreciation month in October (the generosity of the River continues to overwhelm and bless us, but I digress).

So, for the next hour or so, many of our people who had stayed served coffee, tea, carrot cake, and fruit and vegetables to the seniors.  Many wonderful conversations happened, many were blessed by the serving heart of the River, and I had two opportunities, because of our serving, to tell people about Jesus.  WOW!  Other River-ites who were there have similar stories.

On Monday, we received a very large thank you call from the centre.  It seems that our availability in the midst of distress has won us some fans, if not friends.  Thank you God.  We were able to bless our neighbours, right from the depth of who we are as a church.  I am so proud of the River!   I think we lived out Paul's encouragement to the Ephesians: "For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them."  Ephesians 2:10.  God prepared a good work for us to do in the form of serving the seniors during a fire in their building, and we walked into that work joyfully and obediently!  Way to go River!

It's still to play out exactly our next step in cementing the good will and relationships created on Sunday, but I know we as a church will be ready for whatever God has for us. :)


East-West Relationships
Note: Due to the Fire at the Activity Centre, we were unable to complete our November 9th gathering.  Here is a summary of the points of November 9th's message that was not delivered. 

iron sharpening iron pic.005.jpgWhen I was lifeguarding in my teens and twenties, I had a partner that I loved to work with.  We trained together, worked together, even competed at lifeguard competitions together.  We got to know each other so well, that we didn't even need to speak to one another to know what the other would do in any given situation.  It really was one of the most rewarding relationships I've ever had in my life.  We could say anything to each other, challenge each other to improve, or train harder.  Even the occasional disagreement led us to a greater respect for the other.  We really did keep one another sharp for the job at hand.  The Bible describes this kind of relationship this way in Proverbs 27:17: "As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend."  Who in your life keeps you sharp?

mentoring matrix.007.jpgLast week I introduced the concept of a mentoring matrix.  This model, based on the points of a compass, is meant to help us in constructing intentional relationships that have real spiritual significance.  Our True North is of course Jesus.  In earthly terms, our north is a mentor to us, while our south is someone in whom we are investing spiritually.  The east and west on our compass are peers, one inside our same field, one outside, that keep us sharp.  Some examples of east-west relationships in the Bible include Paul and Barnabas, and David and Jonathan.

Staying sharp is a good thing.  It speaks to being useful and effective over the long-term.  It speaks of someone with whom you have  mutual transparency, authority and accountability.  These are the three keys to effective east-west relationships.

Transparent Trust
For a relationship to be successful, the people involved need to be real with each other.  This kind of trust grows over time; its not achieved in one day!  I have been in healthy east-west relationships, and I know that when I share something deeply personal or troubling, that the person across the table from me will not repeat that to anyone.  I can also depend that the other person loves me, and wants the best for me.

Authority of the Bible.
The cornerstone for rewarding east-west relationships in the Bible.  2 Timothy 3:16-says: "All Scripture is inspired by God and is useful to teach us what is true and to make us realize what is wrong in our lives. It corrects us when we are wrong and teaches us to do what is right. God uses it to prepare and equip his people to do every good work."  A real friend will lean upon a mutually recognized authority of the Bible to point out strengths and weaknesses in my life. 

Mutual Accountability.
If all we have in a relationship is a listening ear and someone who sees the Bible the same way we do, there is no guarantee that we will stay sharp.  We need someone to speak into our lives on issues that hold us back, challenge us, or bring us down.  From a foundation of real trust and confidence in the Bible, I can give another person permission to ask me the hard questions.  "How are you doing with _____?"  "Did you talk to that person about ________, like you said you would?"  "What was your attitude like when ___________ confronted you on that issue?"  

It takes time and....
For each of us to build successful "iron sharpening iron" friendships, we need to be intentional.  If you do not have significant east-west relationships in your life, you need to seek them out on purpose.  It will take time, and a major investment of courage, prayer and hope, but ultimately it will be worth it when you realize what you have gained.  You will be sharper in life, work, relationships and in serving God.  If you already have strong east-west relationships, be sure to keep them moving forward so you can enjoy the personal growth that comes from "iron sharpening iron".

 

 

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