 An uncle of mine died over the week-end after a long illness. My aunt's husband, they had been married 52 years and together for 55
years. What a life togther- 3 children, 7 gand-children and more good
memories than could be expressed during the wake and funeral days. I
was honoured to lead the funeral service.
My instructions were, "15 minutes- max." He had
told his wife, "I don't want any damn priest hovering over my casket
for hours." My sister timed me- 15 minutes to the second. But how do
you sum up a life in 15 minutes, or for that matter in an hour or a
day? You can't. This man was loved by his family. I kept hearing the
same thing over and over again from everyone close to him- "strong", "a
family man". Then there was the laughter.
Is
it appropriate to laugh at a funeral? At this one at least, I think
so. For having lost such a significant patriarch, the family had
moments of laughter and joy, just reflecting on their relationship with
him.
I'm reminded of a fictional funeral from
the Mary Tyler Moore Show (if you don't remember this show- get the
DVD's! Gold!). Mary's character worked at a TV station in Minnesota in
the 1970's. In one episode,
everyone from the station attends the funeral of the star of the
station's after-school children's program, a clown known as Chuckles.
He had been killed by a rogue elephant when dressed as a peanut.
(Come on, you laughed!). All of Mary's co-workers cracked jokes
leading up to the funeral, but Mary was appalled at their
insensitivity. When the funeral actually happened, everyone was
serious, as was becoming the situation, except for Mary who
inexplicably had an uncontrollable attack of the giggles. Laughing at
a funeral!
I can think of several situations
where laughter at a funeral would be inappropriate, but in the case of
a man who lived his life well, fought a brave battle against a terminal
illness, and left behind a legacy of love, joyful laughter seems just
about right. We know the tears will come at times like that, but the
laughter eases the sting just a little.
I hope my funeral has laughter. If someday, years from now, you attend my funeral, I hope you even giggle.
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